"THE GIFT"...Do You Smell That (Part III of III)

Part III of my saga is by far the hardest to formulate and explain.
It ignites many memories...and again...it's that whole nutcase thing!
 

The 'blast from the past' memory of little brother Stevie - triggered by the "Do You Smell That?" incident at work - permeated my thoughts for the next two days.

It was evident that I was still experiencing grief - and some guilt - about what had happened that fateful day at the lake.

Almost 45 years later - I still felt stuck - 'locked up' in the belief that perhaps it was my fault. I had created the unrequited responsibility that it had been up to me to be Stevie's 'protector' and keep him safe - and I had failed miserably.

As siblings - we were not blamed for what happened.
But reassurance that it was not our fault - was missing.
Encouraging words would have been comforting for us to hear.

Yet - social protocol, complicated family dynamics, and mind-numbing grief became a trifecta of feelings and emotions that were just too intense to allow for much discussion.

So there was deafening silence...and the foraging of quiet undertones of self-imposed guilt.

The Friday night after the putt-putt boat motor smell at work - I was home watching the TV show "Crossing Over with John Edward".  I was fascinated by the premise of psychic medium John Edward's belief that the energy of our loved ones continued to surround us - long after their spirits have left their physical bodies.

John started a reading with a lady in the 'gallery'.  He told her he was feeling a young male energy - a toddler.  John explained that he literally felt some difficulty breathing - which to him was a sign of a drowning.
The lady acknowledged that there was indeed a toddler in her past that had drowned.

In light of the recent reminders of Stevie...this really captured my attention.

John then mentioned a Great Lakes connection - meaning that it was in that region of the country.  Hers was Lake Michigan.  Mine...Lake Superior.

If any other connections from John Edward rang true with her - I have no idea - as the next thing he said sent me reeling.

John said he was getting an "S" name.
"It's Stephen."

Then he said, "Wait. No."
"He's telling me it's Stevie".

You could have knocked me over with a freaking feather!

And I knew - in the deepest regions of my heart - that this "reading" was for me...  

...and The Gift?  (to all those there that day)


John Edward finished with...
 
"He just wants you to know that it wasn't your fault."

Thank you, sweet Stevie.