Eastertime of Days Gone By

The Woods clan - as it was - on Easter Sunday 1955.

   
The "ladies" were decked out in new frocks and coats, white patent leather shoes, and Easter bonnets.  The heavily out-numbered "men" looked dapper in their white suit coats and ties.

As the "baby" - it appears that I'm the only one still dressed for winter.  It was - after all - Virginia, MN.  (Note the leafless trees and the remnants of snow on the ground)

I think my Mom wins the prize that year for the coolest hat and hair-do... 

...and it explains why my bangs looked this way my entire grammar school life!

I guess I was in vogue - as it never occurred to me to hide the pink foam curlers and the scissors! 

Happy Easter
2011!

(Not so) FAQ's #11

When did I lose my Chutspah? (aka Hutspah)

That word has been rolling around in my head for a few days.  I wasn't sure why exactly so I finally looked up its meaning.


I found that it can have several interpretations in Hebrew and Yiddish.

It's not usually looked upon favorably - as it implies insolence and audacity.  So I chose the definition that seems to best fit my situation.

In Yiddish - Chutspah is "The bravery to be impertinent under certain circumstances".

There apparently is a fine line between being a brave person standing up for your beliefs - and being a schmuck.
And - that distinction appears to depend mostly on the opinion of the person on the receiving end of the impertinence. 

I used to have Chutspah.  I used to be brave, self-assured, strong, and confident.  Circumstances of the last several years have taken their toll.  The challenges have made me fearful, anxious, weak, and unsure.

I sometimes make things harder on myself by not trusting my instincts.

But I've also discovered a few times that my instincts couldn't be trusted! 

It appears that my instincts have Chutspah of their own!  Oy!  The audacity!

Through this process - I seem to have morphed into someone who is overly sensitive and insecure.
 

That's not the me I remember...

...or the me I want to be.





I want my Chutspah back!


Though I suppose I should cut myself a little slack...

...Even Superman can be unsure and needs to be held every now and then.

Hugs!

Julian or Bust...or Apple Pie...or Cemeteries

Last month on a cool Sunday early afternoon I decided to go exploring and drive east to the mountains.  I pointed my trusty Camry toward Julian, CA - traveling on the 8 freeway...because as sister Kathy regularly reminds me..."The 8 is my friend".

Julian is a quaint mountain community known for its interesting history - but mostly for its legendary apple pie.


While en route - about a 40 minute drive - I gave my sister Ruthanne a call to see if she wanted to meet me there.

She answered my call - as she was driving back home from her own early morning visit to Julian.  I guess great minds think alike - just not always in the same time frame.

It was a beautiful day for a drive. With the elevation - the surroundings seemed more reminiscent of  "real" season changes.

When I arrived - the place was bustling with lots of like-minded folks who also thought it would be a good day to visit Julian.

I walked around the many shops and displays and found a great little place to eat.  So I had a healthy salad...and a piece of pie.

Afterward I wandered toward the edge of town and came upon an old cemetery.

I've always been fascinated by cemeteries.  I wonder about the lives and circumstances of those people whose headstones help remind us that they once existed in this world.

So as I wandered and wondered - something struck me about this place.  It was very different from most memorial parks with their manicured lawns and straight tidy rows of traditional headstones and monuments.

This was definitely not a resting place with rules and regs about keeping the area free of mementos that would hinder lawn mowing equipment.

Many displays were far from traditional.  Some were very clever and unique, some touching, others a bit gaudy and over-the-top...but they were real and heartfelt and amazing.

It was by far the most wonderfully eclectic collection of memorabilia, doodads, nick knacks, and "stuff" ever assembled.

I wanted to know them...and their stories.

Like Ian - the young man who left too soon and was someone's best friend.

 Or Jeffrey -

What's the significance of a "headstone" being forged on the back side of a shovel?










This one reminded me of Miss Havisham from the Charles Dickens novel "Great Expectations". 

I'm pretty sure I haven't thought of that character in 100 years...or at least since the time the book was 'assigned reading' in high school.

I guess after all these many years - she must have made an impression on me after all.






I love the shape of this rock and the
sweetness of the necklace wrapped
around it.



A special gesture in memory of
someone who was loved and is missed.







So is life...or death

...merely a crapshoot?










Whatever it is....or isn't...

 ...it was evident that there was a lot of "Forever In Our Hearts" going on in that place.

This lone head stone looked a little under-dressed.

On my next visit to Julian - it'll be wearing a flower.

...a gift from me.

Dork Update...

I did figure out how to edit the hiking club profile to remove my last name!





However - I do realize that by posting this picture - I maintain my dork status.


...and I'm okay with that.

Once A Dork...

...always a Dork.  And I mean that in the nicest way.  This time I'm referring to me.

For instance...I'm usually pretty good at following directions.  So - unless my instincts are tweaked to high alert and red flags go up - I may not question what appears to be obvious and normal.

Case in point: When the online registration for a San Diego based hiking group said to type my full name -  I was a good little do-bee and followed the directions.  Now my full name is on my internet profile.  Der!

I'm usually more careful about stuff like that - but again - a dork moment.  I tried to edit my information  - and of course - was unable to remove my last name.

Since then - it has occurred to me that my full name - including my maiden name - is on my facebook profile.




So - I'm done fretting about that one.

There are plenty of other things to be anxious about.  I know because I've been the Anxiety Queen for way too long.  I look forward to abdicating my crown.

Life transitions are challenging and often gut-wrenching.  Most involve taking risks.
Then comes the trifecta - that 'perfect storm' - when the initial loss creates unexpected residual loss and then add a helping of collateral damage loss.  Loss begets loss - and it all comes crashing together and compounds in Richter scale proportions.  Enter Fear.

All this leads to the realization that joining the hiking group is a bit of a break-out moment for me.




It may seem like a no-brainer....but I've been functioning without a brain for a while.  My heart was my guide and it needs a break from being broken.
 

It's up to me to re-engage myself in life and take the initiative to change my stars.  I'll trust again.

So I will "Hit the Trail"

...with baby steps.

 ...it's okay to be a Dork.

(Not so) FAQ's #10

Is it a problem when leaves fall from the trees?

...Only when they look like this!

One Friggin' Angry Bird...

This bird may be angry....

But to the driver who hit my car and left the scene with nary a note...

                            

                 ...THIS is for you!