"Food" for Thought

The past few days have been kind of a blur.  I rummaged through storage stuff to come up with what I wanted to sell at a garage sale.  Garage sales are a lot of work for all the sorting and pricing of all those low ticket items - but it does add up.  I figure I got moving truck gas covered with what I made. It was great fun being with Annie and others.  My presence here surprised a few old friends who showed up for the sale - unaware that I was back in town. 

The half-day sale this morning (Friday) allowed me to get to my two scheduled doctor appointments this afternoon.  I set my yearly check ups in conjunction with being in Minnesota for the move.

Annie and I treated ourselves to pedicures today.  We figured we deserved a little pampering after all the hard work this week.  However - I was coveting Annie's pedicurist as she seemed to be giving her a better leg massage than I was getting!  Envy is a powerful emotion! 

Happy Hour tonight at a neighbor's house ended up in her basement for a bit while the storm sirens were sounding.  You just have to 'go with the flow' when it comes to the typical crazy summer storms that pass through.

I pick up sister Kathy shortly at the airport.  She's coming to help with the packing of the moving truck and then the drive west...bless her heart!  I'm hoping the crazy weather tonight won't delay her flight.

The highlight of the day had to be the guy dressed like a piece of pizza.  This Slice never even flinched when I went running up to him with my camera.  Only in Minnesota!

Lots to do tomorrow when we pick up the Penske truck and load her up.  Should be another interesting day.  Maybe I'll even get a picture of a hotdog or sub sandwich....

The Saga Continues...

This has been a wild few days.  I haven't needed the "search" but have definitely needed the "rescue".
The best part has been watching Nate work his magic on the drums at two gigs with Black Blondie.  It's so awesome to watch him play!  I can still remember him at 2 1/2 playing the drums with pencils on his car seat!

Nate worked with me for several hours at the storage locker and we got a lot done.  It was a very emotional time and I would often just stop what I was doing and hold him.  Thank you dear Nate for being there with me and putting up with all the tears.  Missing him is the part of this move from Minnesota that has me feeling unsure and has my heart aching.  I have to trust that all will be good.

While seeing all the boxes - every little item has a memory linked to it.  There are old toys and books that I just can't part with.  They need to be handed off to the next generation.

I was thinking about how much I miss Ryan, Deb, and Eden.  They are also on their own journey as a new family.  With Ryan in the military - the places they live are understandably dictated by the Navy.  The most awesome scenario - for me - would be that someday they would get stationed in San Diego!

Once again I have relied on wonderful friends to help me get through this rather traumatic process.  Annie and Eric - you are the Best!  On many levels I literally could not have handled this experience without your help and friendship.
  
Vicki - you show up with your wonderful spirit and laughter and when I see you I'm reminded of what a blessing it is to call you my friend.

JB - thanks for your counsel and willingness to help with storage or whatever.  I appreciate it so much.

My sister Kathy will be arriving from San Diego this Friday the 25th.  On Sunday the 27th - she'll be driving back to California with me in the - probably bigger than expected - moving truck.  I'm so grateful for your kindness and patience with me.  Thank you, thank you, thank you! 
 

I appreciate my family and friends so much as I continue my journey.  MRW - my Cosmic Connection - far away in miles but nestled softly in my heart.  Thank you all for your support and encouragement. 

  

Thank you for being "the wind beneath my wings".  I love you all.

Dad's Day 2010

Happy Fathers Day to all the dads.

To my dad Joe - who's holding me in this picture - I love and miss you!  I'll see you again some day.

To keep - or not to keep....

This is the stuff I have to sort through and decide to sell, move to another storage locker across town, or pack in the moving truck to California.  The process is a bit overwhelming!

It's a 10' x 20' room.  Believe me - there's a ton of stuff beyond the plastic shelves and mattresses!

I've already combined and repacked a few boxes and took a load out for a yard sale.  I'm thinking 'less is better'.

Tomorrow - I'm goin' back in! 

If you don't hear from me in 2 days - call Search & Rescue...

Wild Blue Yonder

In a few hours I'll be heading to Minnesota.  This trip is the culmination of months of soul searching and decision-making to try and figure out what to do and where to settle.  I have changed my mind so many times that I'm getting motion sickness!  I'll be sorting through my stuff, selling what I don't want, and packing up what's left for the drive to California.

I know I have many fears - some justified and some not.  One that weighed heavy on my mind was not being in Minnesota while Nate is still living there.  He had been gone for over 4 years - having graduated from The Berklee College of Music in Boston - and returned to Minneapolis in September of 2009.  Less than 3 months later I packed up my car and headed west.  I already have some self-imposed mom-guilt about that decision  - and fear that I would regret making the decision to settle in California.

Honestly - it really is MY issue in that I'm sad to miss going to his gigs, going out to eat, and basically just being around and available for him like my mom instincts dictate.  He's a self-sufficient young man and fully capable of taking care of himself.  He proved that time and time again while he was away at college and since returning to Minnesota.

   
 
I finally broached the subject with him and he helped alleviate my fears.  He is happy, busy, motivated, and looking forward to his future with wonderful anticipation.  How could a parent ask for any more positive validation than that!  ...and I think he kind of likes the idea of having a California connection. 

Thank you dear son of mine - I love you forever!

With - is Better

I've been trying to figure out why I’ve been so resistant to the enthusiasm of family and friends that I should enjoy being 'single'...that I should revel in the freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want.
I suppose the grieving process has something to do with not getting to that place quite yet - but I believe it's more than that.

I left Minnesota on 11/11/2009.  My wonderful friend Annie drove with me to Denver.  From Denver I drove by myself the rest of the way to California.  It was great to visit family and friends along the way in CO, UT, and NV.

The long stretches of the drive were mostly fine - giving me solitude to reflect on my life and its unexpected twists and turns.  At times the solitude was welcomed and healing - but in a heartbeat - could change into an 'alone-ness' of monumental proportions.  There were lots of traveling tears.

On my journey I came upon the breathtaking Virgin River Gorge in Arizona.  I was in awe at its beauty but also felt a phantom sadness.  I wished that I had someone special with me - to appreciate the grandeur and take it all in.  I longed to share the moment – to create a memory that could be reminisced about years later - and know it was real.  For me - amazing experiences are "Richter scale" awesome when they can be shared. 
I will be patient though.  I trust that some day that special person and I will discover each other. 

I have known what it's like to be with someone.  I’ve also been without.  With is better.

Motivated! (not)

I'm having a hard time getting motivated to do much of anything tonight - including write.  Lots to do tomorrow and between now and the end of June.   The thought of it all has me reeling a bit.  I know I need to remember to just take things one day at a time.  Everything culminates into my driving a 16' moving truck 2000 miles from Minnesota to California.  Eeek!

I think I need ice cream with about a pound of M&M's poured over the top.  



Later...gotta go....I've got some serious sugar over-loading to do!

 

I'll probably get so wired that I just might do some writing tonight after all - like at 3am.
 
Goodnight - I hope....